Chapter 2 "You Are Not an Accident

I cannot seem to get past this chapter. I have read chaper 3 and am trying to move onto chapter 4, but, I am always drawn back to this chapter. So here I will stay until I feel peace of mind to move on.

I have never felt like I was an accident but I have never felt that I was worthy of God's love. I feel as if I have taken what God has created and distorted it in so many ways that I am in no way near the person He first created me to be. I have taken this body, that may very well have been made to be large and I have ballooned it up until it is grossly obese. I have not taken care of the temple of God and therefore I am not worthy of His love, of His blessings, His grace. Some people would say, "well then do something about the weight." I have in the past but it always comes back. I think I am beginning to understand that the weight protects me from ..............something. I am not sure what that something is but I now believe that maybe the weight is a buffer.

I think I allowed the weight to hold me back and then I had something to blame besides myself. I did not have to take responsibilty for my life. Responsibility for failures, set backs, for lack of, etc. I could always blame my weight, my size.

I can see that God is finally bringing the help I needed to help myself in the form of this book. It will be interesting to see what becomes of me as I continue to read and study and pray using this book.