Chaper 3 - What Drives Your Life?

In this book Rick Warren tells of the 5 most common things that are a driving force in our lives.

1. Guilt - regrets, hiding shame, manipulated by memories, the past controls their future.
2. Resentment and anger.
3. Fear - afraid to venture out, always playing if safe.
4. Materialism - security by having more money.
5. Need for approval - expectations of parents, siblings, spouses, friends controls their lives.

I can honestly say my life is driven by all of them and probably a whole lot more. Thank goodness he only listed 5! lol :)

Reading this chapter gave me a chance to see just what does drive me. I think in the back of my mind I knew these things but by reading them and ackowledging them, it brings them to the fore front of my mind and of my life.

I grew up in a home that was dictated by the moods and the whims of an alcoholic, abusive father. We could, at any time, go from feast to famine because of his drinking. His drink always came first over food, bills, clothes, whatever. When he was drinking if he was kept happy then the house could be in some sort of peace. That meant my mother leaving me alone alot to take care of my dad and his needs. It was not until much later in my life that God helped me to realize I had felt abandoned by my mother and had really been angry with her for that. But in that understanding came healing as well.

I am not going to sit here and blame my dad for everthing bad that happened in my life. I am just finally able to see where the guilt, resentment and anger, fear, materialism, and the need for approval came into my life as driving forces. I have completely forgiven my Dad for all the abuse and all the hurt in my life and am at peace with myself and my relationship with my father. Before my father died, the last 3-4 yrs of his life God enabled me to see what was behind my dad and what drove him to do some of the things he did. God gave me an insight to my dad that could have only come about by divine revelation. I still got angry with my dad at times, but, the big difference was I could forgive him, understand where he was coming from. My change also impacted my dad in that because my prayers for him changed, he changed too. Before he died he had a wonderful experience with Jesus and he was able to share that with me. To this day, some 7-8 yrs later, I still thank God for that time and praise Him that my dad went to heaven to be with Him.

God's word says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I have cried out to God so many times for Him to reveal His plans and purpose in my life. I believe in reading this book this may be the answer to my prayers.

At the end of this chapter Rick Warren asks 2 questions, "What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want to be?"

I think the answer to the first question is care and concern for my family and their welfare drives me. But, I am not really sure if my family know me well enough to know that what was behind that driving concern for their care was because I always wanted to make it up to my Mom and my brother for my dad being a bully, an alcoholic, a lousy provider, abusive, and not a real good roll model for a father. I really have no idea what my friends would say is my driving force of my life.

As to the second question, I always wanted to be something I am not. I always wanted to be prettier, smaller, smarter, more outgoing and less shy, rich. In other words, I could not accept who I am, the woman God created me to be. I have my own beauty, but, it was never enough. I am a large woman and that was never acceptable. And the list could go on.