Reflections on Day 1 - The Task

I have discovered two significant things as I am pursuing the task which I gave myself regarding Day 1: "It's Not About You!"

First of all, there are an amazing number of "inputs" which pummel me in my daily living which all seem to focus on me doing something, or something I am responsible for. And, to be honest, the truth is that most of the things that I am told, required, or requested to do, I cannot do-alone. This alone humbles me. Some recent examples:

From my job:

I need YOU to deliver this freight, on time.

I need a lot of cooperation to do this. Traffic, speed limits, weigh stations, weather, logbooks, and many other things must be in concert before this will occur. My usual position is that I will do my best. But, this is a cop-out. I am not ABOUT doing MY best. Every "input" I just mentioned is, in fact, required. Yet each one also includes a rather slim margin for success, and a chasm for failure. And, I am excuse prone. "Why didn't you deliver this load on time?" BECAUSE...........didn't cooperate with the plan. It got there safely, with no bodies to account for. Isn't that enough?

No, it is not. Simple. Mothers seek rest, but the baby cries. Dads seek to fix the pipes, but work gets in the way. The teenager struggles for social acceptance AND top grades, but there are not enough hours in a day for both, and balance is a constant challenge.

Another Example:

I want/deserve/lust......

I've worked hard for it, and I deserve it. I think I should have it. They don't let me have it. I get totally out of orbit mad because they are withholding from me what I deserve. It's just not fair.

Don't look at me like that. You do it too. The ad reminds us to want it, to buy it, and to have it. Television, radio, the internet, and even strangers we talk to constantly bombard us with this message. This is where I most agree with some pretty fundamentalist evangelicals.

Both examples completely remove the focus, the purpose, and the energy from where it is truly supposed to be. Because, the simple truth is, it is NOT about me-ever. And it is not about you, either. Every time we trade HIS will for OUR will, several things happen:

1. We immediately move right OUT of God's Will, and plan for us.
2. We voluntarily stem the flow of His Blessings into our lives.
3. We, through our rebellion, remove ourselves from His fellowship.
4. We force whatever conditions are necessary to change the orbit of our universe to "ME". And, we do so with such effectiveness, that God can't even force His way into our moment.
5. Satan wins yet another, seemingly insignificant skirmish. Skirmishes add up, you see. He doesn't have to work hard at anything but patience. One skirmish at a time is his very best plan. IT WORKS!

The second thing I have noticed as I pursue this list which I gave myself is that there are many things on the list which very simply MAKE ME MAD!

The internal struggle between "Well, that one's ok. Who's gonna begrudge you getting your way just this one time?" and "Oh, come on! That one doesn't count! You are just picking a nit!" is absolutely incredible.

Look, the world belongs to Satan. He is the Prince of this World. And, until King Jesus returns in the fullness of His Glory, that's just the way it is. Ole Stoopid has had a very long time to put his plan together. Yes it will fail. But will it fail for me; for you?

Every time I place "I/Me/My" in a position superior to that of my God, Satan wins. It's really that simple. And that makes me incredibly angry.

We have the joy of knowing that the Dad who directs our path has in store for us blessings so abundant we cannot even begin to conceive of them, yet we "want". His Mercy is sufficient for any moment, yet we cry out like the lost lambs we are that it is impossible. And, that makes me just crazy stupid nuts mad.

The only thing that "I" truly need to do is to get re-aligned. In trucking, "I" am (believe me when I tell you) universally accepted as the very least significant piece of the drama that makes for a safe, on-time delivery. In the world, "I" am of no significant position whatsoever. The world sees me only as a consumer, and a changer of coin.

Why is it so blamed difficult-to keep forgetting that "I" was fearfully and wonderfully made by the God of the Universe, and even as a broke down sinner saved by Grace, through Faith, I am still a most especially elect Son of the Most High God? That, in Him, I have my all. Through Him, I will be completed to the purpose that He designed before the foundation of the world was laid? And, Because of Him alone, I do NOT have to be a slave here. I am His. I am a victorious warrior in His Cause.

How come that ain't on the Evening News?

Soli deo gloria!

Bud

I have agree to commit to Bud the reading of "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren in 40 days. I have to be completely honest about this because God knows my heart and to say anything less than the truth would be a sin against Him. When Bud first posted on GCO asking for others to commit to reading the book and being accountable to each other, I immediately jumped on it because I felt so guilty from not keeping up my end of the last commitment I had made to him to do a study on The Prayer of Jabez. I had allowed too many things to get into the way of that study and I felt I had let Bud and God down and I was determined that this time, nothing, absolutely nothing, would get in the way.

And so it begins, my first lesson in learning that it is not about me, but, about what God wants in my life. What is His purpose in my life? Agreeing to read the book was, at first, about me being able to make up for letting God and Bud down the first time. There is that word again "me". It did not take me long into reading the first chapter to realize that God has purposed that I read the book! My thoughts and Gods were worlds apart. Silly me.

I had never really thought too much about it but every day we are bombarded with things that are always directed towards us, me, I. The commercials on t.v and in magazines, our employers, our families. Me being more satisfied with my body, my love life, my job. It is up to me to make sure my mother is taken care of in the nursing home. It is up to me to make sure that my family stays in touch. It is up to me that my brother remembers to call his mom or send her a birthday card or mother's day card. I could go on an on.

Now I have been taught in church that I can do nothing without Jesus. When I am weak He is strong. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I have been taught that if I rise each morning and commit my day to God that He will order my steps. Yet somehow it has become more about me and my purpose and less about God's purpose. I can blame a lot of it on satan, but in all honesty, I had a great deal to do with it. I became impatient. Hurry, hurry, hurry. I retired in order to slow down some. I retired from a highly stressful job that always had a deadline to meet and never enough time. And yet, I seem to be busier now than when I worked. I somehow do not believe that was God's purpose in me retiring. Again, me has stepped in the way.

Heavnely Father, I so want to know Your purposes for my life. You have had a plan and purpose for my life since before I was born and yet I have always managed to get in the way. It is my prayer that as I commit to this 40 day study that I will finally, for once and for all, get out of the way so that You plans and Your purposes may be shown in my life.

In Jesus name I pray,
amen

Day 1: "It's Not About You?"

As this marvelous journey begins, the very first step is one of the greatest difficulty. I have written, for years, on this very concept. There are even lengthy postings recently at my Personal Prayer Journal regarding the unmistakable truth of this statement.

You, which is to say "I" do not have the ability to jump the chasm which lies squarely in the middle of Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:3. I cannot do it. Yet, everything within the human spirit declares otherwise-it is our nature. Self-reliance. Self-realization. Self-actualization. Self-determination.

On, and on. Without ceasing, we are fed both within our ability to recognize (conscious thought) and beyond (Sub/Super conscious thought) this never-ending declaration: It IS all about you!

So, I have (after considerable thought and prayer) given myself a task to complete:

Over the next seven days, I am keeping a list of all the input into my mentation. The list is every conscious input which declares that it really IS about me. It is not that I am unaware. Nor am I surprized to discover that, as Rick Warren tries to so diplomatically state, anything about self (and especially self help!) isn't. It isn't about self, and it certainly isn't about help.

I have come to believe, rather, that any such input is nothing more than the deliriously beautiful sound whispered into my soul by Satan: my own name. I am more than casually interested to see just how it is that he has become so durned successful!

If it really ISN'T about me, then what are the inputs that keep telling me otherwise? And which ones seem to be the most successful? Why?

I would invite you to participate in this task as well. It could be interesting. It could be enlightening. It could be a forever, eternity changing kind of moment for you. I fully expect that it will be for me.

Dad:

Please use this experience to show me the only thing that I need to know: what is drawing me away from you. Thanks, Dad. I love You. Bud